In my ceaseless effort to expand my zombie horde I am often trolling the Net for new and different zombie manufactures. In the course of my wanderings I came across the website of Mississinewa Miniatures, which instantly won my award for most idiosyncratic company name ever. In the name of protecting my sanity, I will be referring to the company as “Miss Minis” for the remainder of this review. Thanks for understanding.

The first thing that struck me about Miss Minis was that unlike most small-press mini companies they’ve obviously put some thought and effort into their website. Every mini is nicely painted and has it’s own clear, well-lit picture. Miss even goes one step further and includes a scale ruler in the pics, a brilliant idea I have not seen from anybody else in the industry. I hereby call (futilely, no doubt) for it to become standard practice.

The individual zombie figures seemed a bit high-priced to me at $3.00 each, but the package deal that included all eighteen different minis in the line was priced at only $24. I added a $1 pack of bases to take advantage of their free shipping offer, bringing the individual zombie cost down to a measly $1.39.

The box of undead arrived with admirable speed, and I eagerly tore it open to have a look. First impressions were not favorable. The anatomy of the minis is very strange and cartoonish, with skinny arms and legs and massively oversized heads and hands. Sculpting detail is basic, descending into the realm of crude in some cases. Fully a third of the set are naked, but lack genitalia. Since the same figs are also universally bald, male, and sporting odd dorsal ridges (vertebrae?) perhaps the zompocalypse has overrun some sort of homosexual nudist eunuch leper colony. The results are bizarre to say the least.

As a side note, if asked I would jump at the chance to play lead for any band called “Homosexual Nudist Eunuch Leper Colony.”

Homosexual Eunuch Nudist Leper Force Assemble!

Back to business. The mini’s questionable anatomy is compounded by a serious lack of personality. One of my favorite things about zombies is trying to derive their back-story. I look at a wandering ghoul dragging a briefcase or waving a cellphone or even wearing a chicken suit and can’t help but think “Who was that guy?” It really helps drive home the horrifying aspect that zombies were people once. Only one of the Miss Mini zombies stands out at all, a bushy-bearded old man clad only in a pair of shorts who looks like he was a crazed hermit of some sort. The rest don’t even sport any interesting injuries except for one amputated arm.

The problems even extend to the bases. For some reason Miss Minis cast their own bases out of resin instead of using the industry-standard round plastic slottabases. The problem is that these bases are unusually shaped, with thin, flat bottoms and a raised-edge top. Considering that the minis are cast on very thick tabs (which necessitated some trimming to even fit into the base slots), many of them stick up awkwardly above the surface of the base. Trimming the bottom of the tabs is extremely awkward due to their thickness, so I just did my best to cover the problem with an extra-thick layer of flock. Overall it seemed to me like an odd attempt to reinvent the wheel.

This review has turned into a bit of a hatchet job, and I hadn’t intended that. It’s just that if I’m going to criticize somebody’s hard work I feel I owe it to them to do better that “It sucks!” That kind of stuff is easy and fun to write, but does a disservice to both readers and review subjects.

There are some things to like about these zombies. They’re extremely inexpensive, less than half what I’ve paid for my top-line UK zombies. Every mini is a unique sculpt, which again is something you don’t often see at this price point. They’re very quick to paint up. I knocked out the whole eighteen in a total of four or five hours start to finish, which is a blistering pace for me.

Frankly, these guys will do just fine to bulk out your zombie hordes. I plan to use mine near the back, letting the rock stars from Zombiesmith, Cold Wars, and Grffin take the spotlight. For those truly big mob scenes you need a lot of undead flesh, and just like in the movies, not all zombies need to be created equal. If you think of the Miss Minis zombies in the role of extras, it’s tough to beat the great value they offer.

Pros: Inexpensive, Quick to paint, All unique poses

Cons: Strange anatomy, Crude sculpting, Creepy Naked Eunuchs

Final Verdict: 2/5

Source: Purchased from: Mississinewa Miniatures

MSRP: $24

Popularity: 17% [?]

Related posts:

1. Review: Urban Zombies by Reaper Miniatures Reaper's Chronoscope line has everything else, why not some zeds?...
2. Review: Lady Justice and the Death Marshals Crew by Wyrd Miniatures At long last we unleash our super-sized review of Lady...